Inspired! A House Reflects It’s Master

This weekend I took part in a historic event - the filming of Dr. James Dobson’s Legacy Series - in front of an audience of 5,000 people in San Antonio, Texas.

In 1978, Dr. Dobson filmed the original series in a packed auditorium not too far away from where we were on Saturday.  A lauded child psychologist and best-selling author even then, Dr. Dobson taught from both a clinical and biblically-based perspective, providing practical advice on how to raise boys and girls, how to strengthen one’s marriage, and how to apply your faith in a family setting.  Dobson’s spirit came from a place of deep concern for the state of the family and his perspective on the direction things seemed to be going culturally (even back in the 70's).

The film series was seen by tens of millions of families and helped launch Dr.’s first ministry, Focus on the Family.  With Dr. Dobson's leadership, for 30 years plus Focus built upon that foundation as Dr. went on to publish more than 80 books and reach hundreds of millions of people through his nationally syndicated radio program.   When Dr. Dobson was asked why he started and now heads a new ministry, Family Talk, his answer was simple, yet profound.  “The job is not finished, and there’s much more that I have to share.”  This was proven true once again this weekend.

• Still the voice of the Christian family in America…

• Still passionate about parenting, marriage and faith…

• Still uncompromising about biblical family principles and righteousness in the culture…

(even when it is unpopular and brings criticism – and persecution!)

And now with 35 more years of additional experience and personal perspective, Dr. Dobson hit the road in early 2012 and been working with an award-winning major film production company to put together an amazing multimedia series, called Building A Family Legacy.  He considers this new film series the “bookend” to the original teaching videos first produced in the late 1970’s.

While Dr. Dobson is all about impact – helping as many people and using his gifts to come alongside as many families as possible - he’s equally concerned (nearly obsessed) with really reaching, teaching and connecting with the individual in each and every audience - the husband, the wife, the grandparent, young adults and even children.

As much as any of the individual topics and terrific advice that was provided impacted me, (and there was a ton,) that is what I witnessed at the filming – someone who is wholly committed to the lifelong call God has put on his life. 

It was simply awesome. 

Finally, I’d be remiss not to mention something else that was really significant.  Professionally, I’ve been working in media and marketing for more than 20 years.  As a radio producer and musician, I’ve visited tons of studios, been on television and movie sets, and participated in large live events of all types.  Senior Pastor John Hagee and Cornerstone Church in San Antonio, TX, hosted the filming event this weekend.  Far more than that, he and his son, Pastor Matt Hagee, opened their home – and indeed their extended family – to the Dobsons, to our Family Talk staff, and thousands who came to be challenged and inspired to strengthen their family.

I’m not exaggerating.  These folks rolled out a red carpet of welcome in ways that I’ve never seen – ever – with any group or organization.  With a spirit of friendship and collaboration they made available to Dr. Dobson and this film series effort some of the kindest, most collaborative, and professional staff that I’ve ever encountered – not to mention impressive facilities and media technology.  From the greeters and volunteers, to the production team, to the planners and managers, to the audio and television producers, to the Hagee family themselves – every single person I met was simply off-the-charts cool.  They also coordinated with 12 local Chick-fil-A restaurants to feed the 5,000 attendees - absolutely FREE.  That too was a Texas-sized blessing.

It's one thing for the big boss to extend an invitation.  It's another thing alltogether to have the whole body live out that invitation with heart and class.  When you see a team like that work with such unity, there’s no question why God has  blessed them so richly over the years.  They don’t keep it – they pass it along.

I hope someday we’ll have the opportunity to do for some other group what the folks at Cornerstone Church, John Hagee Ministries, and GETV did for Family Talk.  It was the definition of hospitality.  It WAS Church.  It WAS family.

Rewriting History?

Kids have an uncanny way of catching parents unprepared, don’t they?  While our family was in the car (on the way to church no less) my youngest son asked the open-ended question, “Dad, has anyone in our family ever been in real trouble?” 

I have no idea what inspired his question or what he meant by “real trouble.”  In a matter of milliseconds I was in full internal dialog conflict.  I’ve already had the discussion about my wild and wooly youth with my eldest son, on my own terms, when he first became a teenager.  I want all the boys to learn from my successes as well as failures, but I didn’t plan to introduce certain parts of my history until I deemed each was mature enough to understand.  With the question I found myself put on the spot by my “baby” – the child with the unflappable memory.

First thought – deflect the question.  Surely we didn’t have time to get into the details right before church.

Second thought – lie now and ask for forgiveness later when I set the record straight.  After all, how would I be helping my boy by exposing him now to the truth of his father’s fallibility?

Third thought - tell the truth.  Heavy sigh...

Thankful for the influence of the “still small voice” of the Holy Spirit, I resisted the temptation to try to rewrite my history.  In the end, there was more at stake than my pride.  Instead of adding a new failure to a past failure, I shared that yes someone had found trouble, and that someone was me.  After my son’s shocked look that pierced my heart momentarily, I explained that I had made some poor decisions as a young man, letting my immaturity and anger get the best of me - and I paid the price.  As quickly as the question came, the answer satisfied the random curiosity of the inquiry.

Fatherhood Challenge: Dare to tell the truth.  I realize there are definitely times when it would be inappropriate to share all the adult details of life, even if directly asked by our children.  However, risking a wound to my ego and being challenged to follow-up the truthful answer with a teachable moment later on, when the time is right, was the better choice.

Because I Love You…

It was one of those weekends to which any parent can probably relate.   

The need for what I call “everyday discipline” often seems to come in waves, and we were surfin’ USA.  I hate sounding like a broken record, and even worse yet, becoming a nag.  For reasons unknown to me, my two younger boys ran a course over two days that had me correcting them every few hours for one reason or another.  Right up to church time on Sunday morning we were battling over the same 'ol house rules and I was becoming more exasperated with each additional infraction.   

When we arrived at church and discovered the sermon was about passionate parenting, and specifically on the topic of discipline, I couldn’t help but think the timing was providential.

Few parenting topics have been written about as much as discipline.  In fact, a Google search of “disciplining children” yields 3,030,000 results!  My boss and mentor, Dr. James Dobson, wrote one of the definitive and best-selling books on the subject, titled Dare to Discipline.  I encourage every parent read D2D at least once, and re-read it when you can use encouragement or have specific questions.

Many solid principles of disciplining kids were reiterated in the sermon, such as: the value of consistency, the importance of setting meaningful consequences, and the need to distinguish between criticism of behavior and a personal character indictment.  The most important and fundamental point that hit home for me was the reason for discipline, so clearly communicated in Hebrews 12:6:

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,

and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,

because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,

and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”

Like the Lord with all His children, our being willing to discipline and meet the parenting challenge to do it biblically and effectively is love.  Period.  Focused on the issue at hand, I sometimes forget to share this fundamental rationale with my children.  

There was also value in my sons hearing that loving discipline is a mandate, a job assigned to their parents by the Heavenly Father.  As the pastor made the connection I literally watched the light go on in my boy's eyes - yet another reason to help our children get into the Word of God and to have them engaged in a church setting where other Christian leaders can come alongside us as parents.

Finally, if we are truly acting in love as we discipline, it greatly helps with the frequent challenges that surround this key parenting responsibility.