God's love is commitment personified, and nothing can stand in the way of its effectual power. God's love for His children is an immovable anchor to Himself (Romans 8:31-39). His covenant of love exemplifies the essence of true relational intimacy, a love that is defined by faithfulness and permanency. In the most real sense, God's love is devotion, loyalty, and resolve.
The Hebrew word dabaq (transliterated), that we translate as cleaving in the King James Bible, is a word with great depth and meaning. Captured within this term is the idea of clinging to the point as to form a lasting bond. The word dabaq is used numerous times within Scripture to portray the need to cleave or to hold fast to someone or something. It has great application in our love for God and the love we share with our wives.
"You shall fear the Lord your God. You shall serve him and hold fast (cleave) to him..." Deuteronomy 10:20
"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined (cleave/cling) to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." Genesis 2:24
Interestingly, it is the same word dabaq that is used in 2 Samuel 23:10 to describe the manner in which a warrior clings to his sword while engaged in battle. Regardless of the soldier's weariness and the many battle wounds he is wearing, the warrior holds fast to his sword, knowing that his life depends upon it. Letting go is not an option.
As a husband and a father, this speaks volumes to me. By God's grace and the work of His Holy Spirit, He enables me to pursue this kind of love within my relationships with Him and others. While not every relationship is by definition covenantal, our love should always carry with it this dabaq principle.
What does this means to me personally as a husband and father? There is never a circumstance in life that causes me to give up on my role as a loving husband or father. This doesn't equate to a superman-like life on my part. Rather, it is just the opposite. The only real superman that ever walked this earth was Jesus Christ. There will be days that cause me to feel like quitting or giving up. However, my feelings don't dictate who I am and how I live; Jesus Christ does. Any "super" that I display in my life is the super that Christ pours into me by the work of the Holy Spirit (Romans 5).
Like the warrior holding his sword in the midst of battle, I must hold fast to my commitment as a father and a husband. To let go, i.e. to not love in a manner that upholds their best interests, is not an option. Practically, this means I must hold fast to God if I have any chance to hold fast to my commitments as a husband and a father. Without God I am incapable of having this type of love that is defined by an unceasing devotion, endless loyalty, and unwavering resolve.
By nature, I will drift. Yet, with God's love and the Holy Spirit working within me, I can be faithful within my roles as husband and father.
"You shall walk after the Lord your God and fear him and keep his commandments and obey his voice, and you shall serve him and hold fast (cleave) to him." Deuteronomy 13:4
We live in a day when love and commitment are taking two different pathways. This is not God's design for love, especially the love a father has for his children. Within God's nature of love is an unrelenting element of faithfulness. It is a love that shouts, "Regardless and always!" As Christian men, we must recapture the pursuit of our calling to love as Christ loves us (John 13:34-35). This means we must equate love with commitment. We must see the two as one path. To give up as dads is never an option.
Remember our 80 year old diver from Miami? He definitely understands what it means to "hold fast" as if one's life depends upon it. After swimming for hours after his drifting boat to no avail, the seasoned fisherman found a buoy and held fast. He proceeded to cling to the buoy for 18 hours in the Atlantic Ocean before being found. I can only imagine that his rescuers needed to pry his body from the buoy.
God wants us to hold fast to Him as if our life depends upon it, and it does. Apart from holding onto Him, our lives will drift toward self-preservation and self-indulgence. As fathers, our children's lives will be shaped by the love we give them. For married dads out there, our wives are in desperate need to know a lasting love that is defined by devotion and permanency.
Regardless of what happens in life, we can respond in a way that speaks to a real love, a dabaq kind of love. Just think of the impact within our homes if we truly held fast to God's model of love. Our children will grow up knowing a loving father that will always be there. My kids know that, unless God calls me home, I will be there. By God's grace, I will holdfast to my responsibilities at home. As a child, to know the security of a loving God and an earthly father is an amazing thing. I was blessed with such a childhood, and I've made it my life goal to give my kids this same blessing.
Fatherhood Challenge:
- See commitment as an essential component of true love.
- Resolve to love within our homes in a manner that shouts, "Regardless and always!"
- Hold fast to God that He may compel you to hold fast to your wife and children.
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