Fear of the Dark

In honor of a summer vacation that was ending too early, (don’t they always?) and the start of a new school year, we took the boys camping this past weekend. Our campsite was located on the periphery of the site acreage, bordered by thick scrub oak and Ponderosa pines. Despite the scratches and bug bites earned by three guys determined to trample through thorny brush in shorts and flip flops, “getting wild” and roaming off-path was one of the more memorable parts of our experience.

Everything changed when the sun dropped behind the Rocky Mountains. Suddenly, the wild and wooly unknown of the woods became a threatening vortex of danger as broad and deep as one’s imagination. Flashlights penetrated no deeper than inches into the fray. An unknown that beckoned for exploration only 30-minutes before was now the source of anxiety - only moments later. My sons, whose boundless energy and spirit for adventure often had them out of sight, now craved two things: closeness to their sense of security (me) and light. It was natural for them to seek both.

It’s easy to get spooked in the woods.

I watched their wandering nature become corralled like an invisible fence by the reach of the flashlight on our path.  Meanwhile, I sought to squelch their fear with information; “There hasn’t been reports of bears in this area recently…” and “If you DO encounter a bear, don’t run – just get behind me!” Get the facts. Have a plan. That’s what makes me feel secure.

However, I found myself thinking, “But who do I get behind?”

Fathering is not unlike camping. We traverse through the wild in areas both known and unknown, but as men perhaps become less equipped to face the dark.  Instead of sticking close to the light when things get gnarly we often go wandering off alone, distancing ourselves from the very sense of security we seek.

Challenge: When fear of the unknown attacks you, and it will, run towards someone whom you can trust. Even the most remote paths are likely familiar territory to someone else.  Together, you can walk safely – even in the dark.